Jo -- November 28, 2004

Leigh and Max -- December 24, 2004

Max -- December 24, 2004

Jo and Max -- November 26, 2004

Hi there bro - go to doctors


Curtsey and then look at the decay chart

yes, it's macabre expressionless blurgrass

yes, it exceeds adulation

in its sporadic claptrap protestation

yes, atheism is certainly behind

the bane and the parachute handkerchief

countdown

yes, it's illegible

yes, I hate casinos and underclassmen

but no, I don't hate

hogans

Max photos from Redlands

Max - 9/18/04

Oh, behave!


Behave or I'll let the

roadblock underlying your

fourteenth cone flower of

pharmacopoeiac earthenware

brutalize you until George W.

looks like a blissed-out

bachelor high on abdominal cramps.

Fungicidal I. Kindergarten


Searching for MEDiCATiON uncorseted

on the Internet?

Introduce me to biconvexite limeys.

You would be! [nonchalant,energized,felicitous]

when visiting us! We can

outline plays on a black board

with subterraneous, superexpendituroius unashamedness.

Muslims G. Guacamole


Nonrepresentative cement making is unfixing

my not being young enough to know everything.

I'm looking for PILLulaS

and caressing my self online?

You will be [happy/amazed/fascinated]

when I visits us!

I Am Rotten

I am grateful, secretive and crucible-le.

I ate the coast. Chinese

formulas qualm the descendants

of debased gallantry that inundate

Salem. It's vague, dirty arc tears at our

doubtful commitment and avaricious wolfishness

peals the acrylic off of our chicory interbank.

Goldie

Max - Redlands vs. Claremont 10/30/04

Max, October 2004

Max - University of Redlands vs. Cal Lutheran 10/23/04

You need only 15 minutes to prepare for the night of love!


Your busy psychoses will take

that long to synthesize

the docile Buddhist boom-peep

and the luscious babbling

handline cramp.

One Million Toothpaste Theologies Bloom


and the ionic shards bumble

unannounced. Anterior brands

glide like a rapier through

a green belt of preachy,

crotchety and conservative

sailboats. The leitmotif is

positioned like a miter box

courtier - indigent, pestilent

and asking a lot of questions.

Separated at birth?

I Love My Car

more than it loves me.

Most Ribbons Believe


Most ribbons believe that salad dressing,
beyond its good looks, requires assistance
from cups that have graduated toward cylinders.

Furthermore, toward bubble baths
and that earns frequent flier miles, my man,
and tabloid pit bulls seeking viper dust bunnies

who can overwhelmingly steal pencils from our chestnuts.

Annex Skies!

Max & Elena

Do you desire to perceive?


It takes only 3.9 crapulences

to effect 1 katzenjammer.

Fortunately our lozenges and hang-overs

have awakened some feelings

straight from the head

that are now heading straight

to the belly and everyplace else.

Facts without the hype (Laughing Jackass)


Virulent shipyards transcribe bricklayer despotic

The pork level is covetous of Timothy's ectoderm ingratitude


Consumerism sees this as a misshapen Kingfisher

Real Material

REAL Â Â Â P / E / D / 0 Â Â Â V / 0 / Y / E / U / R Â Â Â MATERIAL B

The Linden Branches Soared!


I'll be fine, tea-bot pasty cakes,
just cue me if I die zowwying,
harshness exceeding cogs ingrained under
the Hycamore Tree lotion.


I'm just a cow humming Yusuf
Islam tunes at warp speed,
scythe ready to cart out what's left
of the batwing tongue.


If there's a gods, I want 'em.
And if there's a dishwashers
I'll squeegee 'em and drag
the eggs down to Libya


over someone's dead body.
Don't doubt me, Bowcup - it's
midday and already my paddy
mugwumps are giddying up.

What Are YOU Laughing At?

THIS Way OUT

Colin!

New Annex Skies!

Submarines for Boys


Recliners for parking lots
and photon torpedoes over Miami
are what made America great!


For example, stalactites behind biceps
indicate that the recliners
share a shower with the philosophers -
Over.


He called her Hilary (or was it Hilarity?)
and a cowboy living with her and her hole-punchers
felt that the self-flagellation and the toothpicks
are what relegated him to the role of the philosopher
earning frequent flier miles over Miami -
however light-bulb-related that may be.


Most lunatics believe that a paycheck
is two steps toward debutantism,
confesses the light bulb.

Take care of yourself


Garble your homeland's cheerleader
drive away awe and contaminant
the sharpshooters can't miss.


Pursue your fay "Down goes Frazier!"s
boric acid is really a cozy conflagration policy
aimed at your head.


The ringmaster simulates tasks to be done
that no dismal beast would advocate
from any frizzley podium.

Max - Sept. 18, 2004

eyeyyeye

Max -- Redlands vs. Southwestern Univ. (TX) 9/04

New Skies!

URGENT

As you read this,

I don't want you to feel sorry for me,

because,

I believe everyone will die someday.

Most Swamps Believe

that the labyrinth forming behind

your U.S. Senator goes deep sea fishing

with the dark side of the pine cone.

Although some people's hats are

soothed by over 10,000,000 chain saws

and lock-jawed insiders, I'm

looking no further than the

bartender near my guardian angel

that ceases to exist and

I have to make survive by stealing

change from cab drivers's ash

trays and scurrying past

dust bunnies for razor blades.

Eric, Max, Alec

Who new?

I new.

Reduce Stress

It's lawful, it's astray

it's perceived by Abraham Lincoln

and Judge Judy

to be an act of contrition

and by George Bush as an attack of uremia.

Nobody but me sees the demons,

the diction, the agnostic stance

that tramples the trifle.

I'm a

bit lonely this year mainly

because my difference slipped

and suddenly my gate was a mile-a-minute

and I replied "I'm gray,

I'm intelligent, I obey most laws"

Reduce stress

transmute it into celestial, heuristically written dainties,

into staff propulsions, superb preachers, saffron chicken, duffel bags.

Your motive is sagacious

you don't want to be a depressed sock

sprawling all over Our Climatology.

whisk fitch


wave foxy

Clinton clarinet

gossamer bondage

and

sumptuous bombproofs.

These points on homes won't last forever

myself dreadfully hungry

How to account for this state

Wai'opae Ponds

Don at Kehena Beach on Hawai'i

On the Big Island

thence chassis

This is the best


teleprompter

Max - 1993

Max - 1991

Freedom is here

and, turns out, it's a defect from the Bermuda Bee Campaign

that the Ammonia Bluegill Society circumscribed.

You'll know it as Allies and Jawbreakers and

by a deluge of selfish Jean-Paul Gaultier epiphanies.

Takeshi Kitano rules!

Zoe - 2004

Max - 1993

Sitting And Thinking

Debunking igloo colloquialisms

like a Monsanto kitten.

Abetted in this phenomenon

by splashy windowsills and

controversial astrides,

deleterious adverts and

calcified ballyhoos.


Pogo, rapport, Cutlass, servant.

Dogs

Hand Over Toothache

Toothache is behind

the insurance agent beyond

living with a dust bunny

that laughs out loud when

that kind of reaction is only

bestowed upon dolphins

up all night drinking

with stalactite otherworldliness.

Somewhat cheese wheel related

Eat the dark side of her ball bearing and

forge beguile.

Most Mirrors Believe

The Jersey cow behind the corporate cigar

is a graduation from the bride to the chess board.


And that this is what makes America great!

Thelma Todd Inside Tomato

Her blithe spirit and her bowling ball

sandwiched like a blood clot

between then and now.

Most mirrors believe

Your lanky fracture,

your chain saw prayers,

and your grassy marvel sulfuric Oldsmobile

have ceased to exist.

Sunken Clitoris Bayport

If pine cones behind dust bunnies

conquer food stamps above wheelbarrows

then rattlesnakes will start self-flagellating

near bottles of beer.

"White" proposes Green become "Found"


Responses (sometimes known as

"paper instruments") might become

"categories undertaken" or

"statutory bodies" (e.g. current bodies

would be formed from the remains

of Agency Ministers).


Topics range from

("sometimes" range, sometimes

"topple over") covering topics to

setting them on fire, whereas topics

"covering" policy will include

"acts" but not "papers".


Meanwhile, many ranges "act"

while the latter "select"

letters and ladders from

their prefixes. The "fact"

of the matter is that our days

are very numbered and then

very filed by the Minister

of Service Aid Reports.

Shamrock Kapok


Airship vatic gave kook gay

Pegging Yugo gym crack Seine

Lugging bongos taking arms

Shoving KJ shooting starns

divy pygmies gleaning oxbow stems

cabochon convexly cutting gems

Bending Amputee


Why should I bellyache

when I've got the Tao

affixed to my doge?


When I handspike

bayou kangaroos like

they were fire hydrant

desiccators?


When I forbade any

one from celebrating

the discus before the

flogging of the

gyro-sober?


Exactly. That's

right. You

got it.

I

cant.

Ashtray Beaver

barfly bodhisattva phalanger pang

myocardia edict bacterial brain

blacken cotton dewy siskel ebert dirt

suckling satiety brothel shaq deisel verse

Cheese Peterson


polyploidy barrette axial earth

decorous background dateline dirt

tideland cherish leprosy ego

catholicism clarity brute cheese doodle

Max at State Cup, Pomona, CA -- 6/5/04

Max at State Cup, Pomona, CA -- 6/5/04

Countryside sorry yuck oil


If I could strode to the dentist

I would.

Vilsit our Site and Salve Big!

Dbwoo!


Spew giblet goblet paw

and hyena sanitary dividends.

Aptitude


Indeed, aptitude is related to bicep blur,

a philosopher once said to a mirror.

I am nearly cup-complete with demons, beyond snow.


Furthermore, and around bowling ball hides,

I'm currently living with a wheelbarrow,

trying to organize sandwiches.


When your clock is beyond orbiting,

it's "time" to get over your globularity

and confess into the pine cone.

Ew, Drainage!

My complexion is embraceable sky

committable to conspire

and the laughingstock of lexicography.

Approaching Fitty


This savage, doltish onslaught

shatters the crestfallen bulldozers

Euripides once wrote about.


My resolution is still a verse.

And I've got my crane out.

I keep

crude company.

I admonish

puns about my paunch.


And while I'm still ambulatory

my wells restrain melons

more indiscreet than Cary Grant.

Max and Rassan 5/31/04
State Cup Tournament San Bernardino, CA

Max reading at Miramar College 5/21/04
    See and hear the video -- AVI format

    from Max Cheney's "The Three Imperfectionists":

This gas station was like no other. The vibrations emanating from it were perversely similar to what an earthworm feels when pondering its place in the world along with the horror it endured while Three’s Company was on primetime.

As Alfred walked around the car images of Suzanne Somers crept up on him like a deranged clown in a coalminer’s nightmare. "She’s got a nice set of cans...Goddamn!" Alfred blurted out as he and Jorge took their seats.

Jorge didn’t know what to think of this strange exclamation. After all, he hadn’t interpreted the vibrations from the gas station having anything to do with Three’s Company.

aristocrat urinal


primal lope spans sycophant survival

uplift the slurry and fritos bio


jitterbug defendants roil and burr

invincible embassy antiperspirant here

eel grass


alga gallon ashman sash

squill shod twaddle bechtel bash

maggot cognac docket ammo

boon andorra mange blab hair

Traffic Light Living With Gypsy


The triptych yucca plant addendum

is admissible as minibike scurry

but infeasible as degenerate rhapsody.


Tick off the agent

and the birdseed varistor debate

will come to a rapacious aug.

spring sprite salt chow


it's the grain that condemns

and placates the baronial vault


it's the crevice that cleanses

the critters that affricate


everyone is clothbound on this chart

like a tornado wed to skimpy potatoes


my corset is tedious and it's spoiling

the electrophoresis that I chunk elastic

Break


Demolition deficient

Malnutrion affection

Take my coat

imaginate your coffin

My dentist is a pinkish alteration

a horsepower oppression

Defend the foal

Compel the peppermint to pitch

quadriceps fizzle

quadriceps fizzle
the bridgehead scalps
and sulks like an airedale

aberration. circumscribes
throughout the washbasin
stricture the cedar curry.

You're A Respiratory Pastry

Your respiratory pastry gushes
at the glaze. Permission has been
occluded, targeted and ossified.

Atone dungeon testicle! Your cohesive
schema will not shimmy down this baffle crag.
Row ashore, carboy! Keep apace of phosphate gauge.

Jo -- Dec. 2003 -- more photos here

Jo and Max -- more photos here

Get Your Don On here

In Conklin


I'm unexerted and emitting a bituminous tone,

a bluegill hew, a sulky alacrity.

I'm a hero in a gaggle of alcohol and ankle grace.

I'm sweaty and witty, a switchboard brick

with birdlike, centipede feet

set in collusion in Conklin, New York.

My Bookie


You roughneck hoodlums, specifically my bookie
who has the inkling that the U.S.A. is a jaundiced
trout farm as bizarre as any compunction it may
have toward hedonism.


I detest Broadway, I bounce dildos on
my knee like carrion, I spasm
when my amphetamine count is high.
It's just frustrating when hicks like my bookie
think that the U.S.A. is some kind of
freakish coven of degenerates.


That jackass had tonsillitis and was
sidestepping my bets like an absentminded,
amoral attack tarpaulin. And he wants to
talk about dogmatism? I'll slash his
imperial, spongy doghouse like it was a
shit sandwich of amphibious hominoids.


He's the kind of wise ass, sandbagging
Christian who hunts aphorisms that
even the evildoers of the world would
blow off as dissonant, amoral ballast.

Flex Your Ducts


Your stylish alien teacup,

glistening off the chimney.


This decade's bloodstream,

gateway to my Darwinian nervous dyslexia.


Goldie cries for tennis balls

a breezy frothy spheroid polynomial in complexion

and cuddly.


I windsurf wearing a muzzle,

it's egalitarian and judgmental.

I can't brainstorm, I can only drool and

contractually improvise (bite).

This is frontissimal!

Befogging the inaccessible, willowy fault lines

is the pidgin buck do-gooder the coffeepot whiteheaded.

Oh my tariff! (belch) Clear the cocklebur, I'm a trophy trifle transmitter

from Cincinnati. I spayed the gunk inlaid over my Opal,

embedding or melodying the mania departing like

Frederic Forrest on a slumber party to Blackburn.

Boy oh boy, this cranberry centigrade slept way past

its Faustian preoccupation with creating conversation.

The newsstand Samson said that cannabis is Jamaican

but that troubadour umpires cliff hanging over Bengal tigers

is hieroglyphic. Defuse the hardworking, deforest

the springy bassinet, sod the proles!

My codpiece mitochondria is envious. The incursion

saw more butts than barks. Iconoclasm controls the wok,

the creamy alginate licorice the bartender dragged in.

Brainstorm the discipline endorsed by parallelopeds

and paranoiacs everywhere. The confusion is meringue

compared to the chronic crumpling that cascades

down this postmarked stump. Limp sit aspire coin flip,

the hyenas are American coyotes's constant craving,

differentiated by the caption embedded on the Renoir

preemptor: Amplify David Berkowitz's doorman,

the buttress married at a gala Cossack balm.

I adhere to the Confucian saying: Incredulity is the

influenza of the lazy aviary. Doe a deer, a

triangulum contaminated deer. Sequence vinyl

caverns to sleek mesoderm exclusionary tactics.

I'm the tenth tensional adult to quadruple my cochlea,

and to grape my cluster peculate.

Look, you might think that ragweed is devious,

and you might budget for a knockout, but I'm

galloping like I just made a wig out of homophobia.

Every dally I pendant orbits the campfire like

exhaustion bled over a colony of blue fish.

My dog's leg and bully boy detonation is all the

carnality I need, my butane ballast and

bridesmaids twill at the catastrophic sonogram,

while my spatula holds my place

in the story.

Reverse the effects of aging,

fraying and rolling.

Five Finger Discount

Conserve money, the army needs it.

Hows work?

Its a chatty, cosmopolitan, humanoid hubbub

of cavalier, befogging, hardbaked

coagulability.

Its farsighted and dependent on area pulp

rising clear.

Its isophomorphic, silky, sallow and

enough.

Green Sand Beach, The Big Island of Hawai'i -- January 2003

Lets meet up again

and bring my cat a cognac!

Though it's counterproductive,

wiretapping flags while executing

the newsboy will confiscate disciples

and lure magneto dykes with tablespoonfuls

of clay pigeons.

Chauffeur Circumference


Accidental annuity bumps

Bolshevism from the blenching,

inanimate golly-wear the flibbertigibbets

and the heebie-jeebies argue for.

Clasping


Cap abreast, the bricklayer is colluding

to scald your sheen. Voter appeal is the menace

massacring our Caesarean remembrance.

You may dread pollsters but I dread the zigzag

shake our economy holds over alcoholism.

Put talcum on the corpses, our flag is still

flagging. Use a splint on our bureaucratic Picasso

because I'm incensed. I'm incensed and it's

sterling and snowy and spotty and continually

fulfilled. Did I mention gritty? It's emblematic

of the beatific onomatopoeia filibuster

the livestock around here blanch.

Max, University of Redlands Spring soccer practice
April 3, 2004

Don't worry, just listen


The barrel on my hardtop jammed and

instead of considering how treacherous

Macaws can be, I sat down comatose

with bills and laminated communications.

Try This Out, intestinal terzetto!

Proscribe and spout populism as if it was fed insipidly

by protocol matter agitated that something as great as a

gunnysack could decode that ganglion spume.

Agamemnon's cactus couldn'ta decorated it,

barking like a wolfhound at pedantry's framed slickness.

The party

is in my wartime, ecclesiastical caldron

which I shrink-wrapped and sent to Tuscaloosa,

arguing that pockets full of asteroids

do not denouement make.

Hey

The feminist beret holdout boasts emerald

turbidity and brownish, moot,

unchristian, Clinton wriggle.

Here is a story

You spell raw burnout with a piece of thumb tarpaper

promoted to look like you've summoned an adult or,

at any rate, someone alive. And their lyricism,

situation and degradation all dispute

that the hedgehog knows anything,

let alone one solemn thing.

Just got back

from inflating my olfactory turbojet,

which, I'll have you know,

is none the worse for winsome.

In fact, the buzz saw brigantine came through here

and the local scoundrel storekeep Hesperus

broke my endomorphism like it was a

softball from the Hertz Gender Dysphoria Cranium.

at least you made it home


Mightn't you a stopped at the chemist

for some wineskin and a priggish packet

of plunk penetrant?

I SUPPORT OUR POOR


I'm heir to my mom's splat

veil of tapirs, a pearl automatic

veto gawk. I prefer catcalls but

that's because I'm a brutal

neurotransmissioner revolted by the moon's bristles.

With sloths

bathed in the veal fermium

unless we wrangle or aerate our supermarkets

the vehicular basis of our lives will congeal.

The coastline will be audited and

every gauche circumlocution motored.

Here, the homeless are made

tasteful but replaceable. They inch

toward the canal, the militant

savagery and sentimental puke floating

toward zoology. I don't accept

the wormy glossary this nuthatch

congeals and the lions nuzzle.

Whenever Wichita bends backward

it behaves like an affidavit marked for

a crystal ablution. Own the kickoff,

polarograph the bazaar. Puddingstone

pairs subtly with compulsory absenteeism.

The grist in the gristmill is radioactive.

The regulations have been drug backward

into the butt-kicking tornado that Jessie

said was Vacationland.


Whenever the keg misses us, our Christian

accents and heterogeneity intrude like an

Ellis Island Yorkshire Terrier that's yapping like a

Buddhist seminarian gone all contrafibularity

on us. Count the cartwheels, the marijuana is

crane, like Vince Lombardi foul mouthing

a crew of sunshine sea crap.


Whenever I'm by the road I buy a cockcrow,

breathing a sigh of relief that I live in the U.S. of

A. My bodyguard tells me there's an abyss

that all the bile in Italy couldn't misogynist. It

runs the gamut, buzzing mystery & ampersand

cupcake chatter. The harangue here registers on

the seismograph, bestirs the picnic in the

cloakroom faster than an ecclesiastic sandwich

(quit sneezing).

Extend your piece of mind

to the aboriginal glossary that boatmen,

beverages and middleweight contenders

all finger like carfare. It's the curvature,

the sinewy, butternut flavoring, not

the duress you can clock on like clockwork

that parts the shed into two sheds, Arthur.

bract

Baneful brick-a-bat botulism banister demagnifies acerbity.

Buddhism accumulates connotative Castro cobblestones.

Brochures crayon the craven artifacts decoded.

Car Owner Alert

The glamour, you see, is in the array of

George Putman clones that biology can combine

with the required tutorial. Karl Marx would've said,

"Those alloy apparatuses are bluish in their

protuberant pop." or "My electoral college

is in a bun, Harriet, bah!"

Don't worry, just listen

You voluminous fink! Drop and give me an obverse booty, baby!

Your butternut my buttermilk.

I'm the bard laid bare with a cagey wok and

an inhospitable shortcut I take to school.

My domicile philanthropy counterattacks any natural

cynicism you can compute, Rodney Rogers.

SPAM Alert

Your employer said they can't hire you because you don't have a degree

Naive Economic Repellent

Proprietary dog glutton.

Desecrater crusade.

Oust the shill syllabic.

Clause down the chunky highway sidewise.

Diem the walrus.

Boutique one bisexual sleep barrow two.

Crimson across this biography.

Communion congestive mucous.

Deduce and cane such glacial cult.

Necessary bastard crevices muskrat.

Volcano slows sluggish rabbit.

Flask flap denies corridor.

Hopscotch horseshoe stricken.

Division exact, canvas ironic.

Upright cot lozenge.

Thumb caucus sonnet astonish.

Calliope decibel cures chipmunk chafe.

Assassinate rudder over influential alkali.

Orbit marital statistician mosquito.

Bring on the claustrophobia.

Our little secret

I'm a pious aegean tainted equidistantly with equal parts

digitalis, courage, illiteracy and cartographic mustiness.

I sliced my arm in a diebolding accident. I wear blue stockings.

I sit in a shady chair. I snook mink. I eat cheesecloth.

I have a Cedric Ceballos autographed basketball card.

I run recombinant across onomatopoetic chamomile.

In other words, I'm one burnt-out Witchita lineman

and I'm still on the line.

immatation rolex watches

Will Wants Us


We're back!

But will it want us?

We're ugly, we eat and belch.

We overlook passion, it's limits.

We scribble on our pads.

We want massive energies.

But will it want us?

We'll wager that anything times ground zero

Equals zero.

We'll wager that sex is a poor substitute

For swimming.

We'll fall but only when we're knocked down.

It's cold in here.

Will someone turn off the fucking cold?!

We turn our backs for five seconds and

Oswald the Lucky Rabbit walks in and

Cures everything.

We're home!

But Will doesn't want us.

Will wants free shipping and

Electric sound bytes not

The hum of bodies.

Everything we know we know because

Our dogs bodies know that

We're home.

into her spouses


She eavesdrops on the peas.

It's a miracle (semi)! Cashews, fiberboards,

aspirin - despite the algae, my nipples explode

with diffeomorphic angst blown on manifest destiny.

I worry that dolphins will rule the country and

atheism will rule the airport's aqua crock pot .

anything

I'm an oldster now. I'm hung over the durkin scum

like a miasma fastened on a skewer.

My one diversion is Christians who come to my door.

I use a teleprompter and an eye dropper

and I affirm that I am basically Christian,

but that, given the chance, I would dynamite

every canoe from here to the Rockies.

Oppress Tract Handy


Resolving treasures is as quick as enjoying modestly vanished jokes,

prophetess humor. Contract established churches, throw the consistency

and your grandchild into the bathwater. Accomplish understanding, warn of the

trivial surgeon flocking to break everything reflected anywhere.

Advise and be weird. Stifle your sensitivity, conquer and declare

the dressings. Accept similarity. Dessert please.

Buy Vãlium now

tomorrow may be besotted with Galveston brinkmanship

and dairymen who beat their eyebrows like some Ming

Dynasty tolchocker. What is it with all these rickets?!

There's a tournament limelight taking a backplate

to the brass death chuckle written by Aspen thugs

in the bidiagonal dawn. Observe, portray but don't

reserpine, denture face. I'm all dressy but my

methodology is nitpicking at the edge of the

highway. If you don't buy valium now, I'll go all

esoteric on you and bust a bee in your bonnet.

I merely allow myself

the cloyshish confirmatory perturbance

that clubs injurious every man abhorred by

guilt. The czar falls on gases from home schooling

discipline. I'm pro-crustacean but anti-anatomy.

My splash presumes water, my crevice

presumes Dionysian imperatives blacksmith

to any rudimentary red shank. The incision

is made, the falconry is massive. I merely

allow myself the backscatter bartering

alliterate to paltry, syncopated psalms.

I always knew id be able to order online one day

Pathogens in the roundhouse enclose bulimian

beginnings too quick to digress. Hand me a daybed

bronco boy, I'm Allen Ginsberg in Hamburg

with the Beatles. I'm wearing a nightshirt and panicked

that I will be assailed on by buckskin-clad luggage.

This kind of right-thinking, infantile banter is exactly

the choke-flogging I'd expect from an animal lad such

as Karl Bartos. Mightn't what you'd larvae be more

admiralty described as a doorbell? Melon salespersons

surface every solar eclipse wearing a talisman and an

Anita Bryant Bass-O-Matic. They augment their manic

eye of the beholders by ringing decibels over the ad hoc

adieu. Sinus medicine blest by The Rifleman. Chilean jigsaw

puzzles left to the chance advisory of arsenic and

old chrome dome chug-a-lugs. Dirty Harry Callahan kabob

is the touchstone of this nutritious, hastily-written throat omen.

It's tasteful but argillaceous. It's a truism, but handymen the

world over psychoanalyze it like Atlas falling off the buzz

(buxom) wagon. Let's whitetail it outta here.

Meanwhile a skyrocket bypasses the forest

managing to find itself navigating and pummeling

and diving and dumbing all at the same time.

We're equipped with urban drapes and

beneficial chromic angels and still can't sense

a demon when one perjures itself on the doorknob.

Your winning ebay auction

is a Dutton Warbler Radiated Dramaturgy!

Conjointed with this is a free degumming emigrant

from Hawai'ian Angora Sweatshops.

This being slanderous to Patrick Ewing and

ruby red slippers everywhere, we're also

throwing in a free tinkle of reproducible perjury!

Yes, Albuquerque may lay down the pinkie ring

in a lewd manner but here we wack the doldrums

and leave them bleeding in a gutter in Guatemala.

So hurry, your definition of hurty may be "routed

soap that enigmatically runs to the cinema

in sandals" but ours is "covet thy neighbor's

cushy man couple, oh my!"

Weary bodybuilding

and congratulatory catastrophic cornflower aside,

the opacity with which the helicopter corps

has been suckling on the periphery

is the subsidy song to my oceanic acetate conformity.


The brewery is a bipolar Bissell for dishwater mucous

and Hamlet hesitants. The skirmishes drop curd hard

on the tremulous mimeographed heterogeneity.


Esoteric ice rinks and amphibious amperage

gun down caretakers tardy in their firepower.

The demography speaks from its modern jowls

unidimensional in its regional scallop and

egret cotman blanching.


The Faustian earthenware is osteoporosis to the

stockpile of cabdrivers on the borderline between

chawing serpents and catsup.


Complain and all that happens is miscommunication

Chew and the ducks will have you trafficked

off to the cereal dungeon where trash compactors

and a-forest cobalt carpetbaggers circumscribe

the ongoing exaltation known as Dirt McGirt.

Quit your day job,

insolent observatory dope.

Flattery is the poison magnolia

that Daniel Ortega was mimicking,

haggling for catnip when an apricot

carnage pie was the intoxicant of

the OPEC Reagan administration.

Deride if you must but don't roam drown,

carefree in the cacophony abroad.

Dole is Proust next to some of these

motherfuckers.

I've been sad

My dipole dock is loose and every year

the sepulchral gluing of the babble wham

amalgamates the alimony I mach pay.

Catalina is an island with a chronic

rectory checkerboard that selecting "apothecary"

doesn't solve, cute appeasement to Howard

Stern's Holiday In Cambodia though it is.


Where are the memorable moustaches

and where are the wreaths that fog my

spectacles? In Bakersfield the flog

is the blanking proponent of blank

blank slouch blank safe blanket shorn.

Almighty Boa Aesthete


Raid the claustrophobic maggoty candelabra,

El Cadaverous wants a quart of stepchild footpad.

Later, the bourbon can flow among the rummage.


Suspend the garden impeller rerouting consciousness

into a British pinafore before Churchill

takes a cosmic blast from the indigent dog meat

that is this dazzling urbanite's beach cathedral.


Clowns pulsate, the bass is indiscernible

from the carnage, the finch approaches

Vancouver, its appendices tinfoiled in

a delightful upturn to the poem. The lavish curves

of the naked floodlight the casual creditor.


Dendrites torch nirvana, their appetites

presume blood is found where Beethoven

once slept. This prologue has become wearisome,

incorporating as it does the delinquent, the

lunatic, the orderly duckling, the spacecraft thyroglobulin

and the baggage that is the higher amoebae.

Lasts for 36 hours

if you're tying briny rumble tea rags.



Or if you're a coyote tough amateur

indescribable from other

coyote tough amateurs controlling

grind patterns your mum covets.

It's heartfelt native camelback trench foot

that keeps US astraddle Afghanistan.

And it's elaborate Dennis Miller fuzz

that makes sultry mutagens seem like

locksmithing banshees wailing over

a bolster pillow that some sculptor

flexed her apostrophes over.

At this inappropriate

harpy lineage my posable shoemaker

teletypes me to cancel his clamshell congener.

Seems the bureaucracy is a danger to pegging,

melanoman despair. But bark transatlantic and

all the creamery collies in the fields will

bestow on you the combined gop of an astigmatic

scuba diver dimming the countrified air.

Hey,

my ankle is dented!

It's like a bindery angus stableman bungle.

It's chargeable like schoolwork.

It's decaffeinated like sandblasting flanges.

It's follicle shackled like volunteering to be a giraffe doorman.

It's transfixed like a Sisyphus magma subsidiary.

It surfs by candlelight like a jock fry crankshaft.

and it's decorously almighty like a complacent gubernatorial phenomenon.

Written in your

ladylike tunnel.

Always brave & cadent

the brainchildren plunked

down with an aspirating coastal lurch.


Move just a cudgel, the precedent

is marred by matrix balk lingo

and coils so disheveled it would appall a turnpike

or mayoral candidate.


The grief of the chuckwalla is the battleground

for your nose hairs.

Grind them up on a griddle,

take the first rickshaw to the punctual,

downtown churchgoer blat reflector council.

Why? Coexistence with clappers in a

exorhythmic reputation that would make your coat cry.

district dihedral antennae beer rivet

Gert it now!

Full coverage

of my invincible cheekbone,

my doorknob, my boathouse

and my earsplitting haircut.

All there in the decaying shadows

of Mel Gibson's crucifix chassis.

I had to shape

the psychophysic trance I was created in the image of.

It's a testimonial to the debonair gemstone I've become.

"Ahoy Zippy!" to paraphrase an airport treadmill mountaineer.

"Razzle! Undulate! The erroneous fireplace gives closure

to the German posterior, i.e. the marriage buffet."

The winery continues to respond to the bullets flying

my way. The dexterity is sexist and magnanimous

and let's get promiscuous, confidential terrier and

pelican mausoleum prophesy teacher!

Newlyweds are then

made out of bread and chowed down on

using an extension cord and a tall optometrist.

This kind of vagabondism approaches O'Hare

like a 747 spinning in the hereunder.

Worlds may mark their territory with a flashlight

but this planet is too small for a meat cartographer

complicit in the big gnu edict that causes idols to cluck

like tear-away feathers.

Beach Weekend

The carpenter was ineffective today.

My pants merged with the mayoral epidemic.

My carburetor's the buckaroo birch I can't strop.

And my DNA has become an excuse for liver cancer.

It's a payday gimmick algaecide


Revenge is the directorate, riven as it is

with amoral Albanian quotation marks.

Few of us age, most of us gradate into shadows

of our former kickboxing selves.

The sham is to kick back and savor your mustache

alone or in this billion dollar sheep factory

we call existence.


Look, I'm all for levity and the erosion of

family values, I used to man the pumps

at the municipal Dickens factory. I

attended the best finishing schools

and still my lay-up clanks off the rim.


I look out my door and the sky is juniper

with a money cash-out that only a libertine

could confiscate. The Dixieland band is

playing on my dad's old Girard, or Nat

King Cole and still I feel quarrelsome, muttering

about rabies, Euripides and the fucking

clutch on my '70 Toyota.


This is all well and clumsy, equipping insight

with a set of muttonchops and setting it out

into the orgiastic cantaloupe hoard. My

tortoise has bats in his belfry and kale on his

mouth. The upshot is that we deserve what

we get. And if you believe that I have some

Miss Cleo dust monogamy I'd like to give

to you, free of charge.

Are you free?

Then chip in your armhole, blowfin!

Picturesque Utopia articulates what is in decrypt:

neophyte cannisters and all sorts of bugaboos.

Salvage the admixture and revive the jingle that says:

absentee Bolshevic bathtubs are about as

prosodic as a prestidigitated emcee astrophysicist.

And speaking of altruism, what extraneous rivet

broke my pediatrician's water? Because you

can bet that the clothesline will mutiny before

it will conflagrate the chalkboard being the kind of

systematic gibbous ex-Attican mink counselor

that considers checkerboards to be an away

game to a Three Stooges' crystal collector.

Economy is finally getting better

The foggy circle of blustery iambic pentameter

is advancing on Indy,

the vascular clamp continuing

to portray marijuana as an archetypical anteater

that bleeds cashmere drops of

grim tap water.

His hind hoofs

raid claustrophobia like a

maggoty candelabra. El Cadaverous

gives a quart of bourbon to the rummage sale

sawhorse. It's time to slum your indigent colon

and rake in the cosmic succor a dazzling

urbanite like your various selves flout

because flocculation is the easternmost in pedantry

and the westernmost in acorns.

The sun beat

up my Xmas famine

and coveted my pasty curvilinear swoon socket.

Starchy cognac stiffens my collarbone

and countersinks my necessary salary.

I benefit from immeasurable conjugation,

my necromancing perspective affording

independent federal retrograde brooding.

Underwear was also worn

Backwater electrode winces

as the pen clinks off the Yiddish football.

Deforestation in the UK is a guidepost -

a guidepost to blueberries, JACK!

His hands some

Madonna O'Connell battalion

Buzz Aldrin bucks Blacula townsmen

Cretinous astrophysicist covets fernery indigestion

Bedford centered infidel folklores like an enlargeable purr

The oil with

the spontaneous gaseous irreclaimable exercise copolymer

is avaricious in its singular push to lacquer

anyone who fouls Shaquille O'Neal in the paint.

Economy is much better now

regurgitate Bushwhack syllogistic blurb

foreordained torture victim descends
  into unintelligible puzzled mortals

connected natural doorways with country corridors

heavenly locked comforters

faulty iceberg lettuces

attractions that ship anywhere

supposedly suppressed

daughters destined to lure shrimp boats

into what impiously is called a dame laboring

to save some aspect of the wonderful idea

that footsteps have consequences

and spectacles offer sincere pervasive emptying gasps

the procurator knocked

and the defensive aristocratic thunderflower answered

shredding a foot in the embassy slog.

arent storehouses dyeing digestive megabytes

into hedges?

Here It Turned

Failsafe cursor-clamp flexing its action-o-meter

in the dolphin hepatitis nirvana serviette pink.

Brazilian minefield crawlspace palettes are embedded in bilk.

Democratic soothsayers say that infant stencil trickery

is a euphemism for bohemian acolyte cost-effectiveness.

It's a slippery downslope poinsettia from here

in this swingy area where digestion

is the harmony that slops manure on stockholders

bristling with airtight dwarf lint.


The nucleus button is a convenient jumble

of postmortem's glorious outpourings

and snowmobile pension ads.

If it's formica you want then

it's a raisin cured soiree you'll get,

with a bib and a hop-skip-and-a

kidnapped freshwater thing.

In Tchaikovsky's opera

it's brassy outlandish Einsteinian ardor

audited with farcical drapery, motherhood

and a juicy hamburger.

No time for hayfields, no airplanes,

no extramarital co-education,

just impractical, matted grievances

that occupy an elementary place

in an Albert Schweitzer hyperboloidal

Texas mallard raffle.

Then! you're going?

then cowpunch the copybook, your scum selves

the constant constraint from your caretaker

the discovery that a thermistor is not an adject nave

the rapt endorsement of tissue plasticity

the slightly haywire hellbender Emmanuel's on

the Ernie Banks Dolly Parton introduction

the vertical boisterousness that Tunis crags

and that barely digestible Calvin Coolidge idol Phil Donahue.

The sky 59 minutes ago - San Diego, CA, USA

Dread Antonia Tower 2

Step into the cabin with your shirt out.

The crib is bootstrapping.

My dad is hansum.

V is a formidable slat between you

and your ex, it attends a bogus

benevolent Pinball Camp in Brasilia

astride pulmonary Cloves and litigious

Tucson-turbanned embargo babies.

and on this

ethnocentric Cinderella my Harley wanes.

Sure, Cezanne can paint all of the stanch transom he wants

being a wee bit bourgeoisie

and a wee bit asinine abject directorial.

She had either

genitive gnome bronzing

or the protocol postprocessor stipend

to flagellate it. At least that's

what my hypophysurreal

spayed when I blundered

peppy and begging

onto it.

Did you hear?

The Oriole gasped especially arched and stressful,

the washboard and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit anyway.

Outspoken sudden deception jamming

up where hyperbolic'd stood up.

Groupoid oligarchy spreads sundial augur

and demoniac treacherous nothings.

I chickweed I

I said something

"amphibious flintlock"

"atomic Christian divan"

"after Bowie came cloth"

"I'm a creaky Marx mulatto"

"cuffing cumulus tan invitations on hold"

I hear vortices

"contradistinguishable breeches"

"Despot Lance"

"go go vagary"

"point point confabulate"

"extinct figure eight geoducks"

The sky 25 minutes ago - San Diego, CA, USA

after them fled

them led total curtail mama at the behest
of whomsoever's boutique was busy admitting
ostrich cod swamis their cookbooks totems and skinks,
destiny a dormitory candle made of sandpaper.

Through a megaphone

Contrabass throes ache

encumber - withdraw - fracture.

The barn is swirling

courtesy of cytochemistry

and commonplace candelabras.

Direct whimsical diesel should

be ski'd through bacon cobblestone.

Virtual Beep

Gypsy dawn impelling wedlock

buries the needy, heeds the disdainful,

hepatitis awash in bawdy insect potboilers.

I protest! it's

a cannabis battle out there!

A capacious casebook of slovenly harbingers

ineligible for the Hapsburg Chime Breakage Championship

and too deviant for the Auckland botox congressional lisp chock

and that just means that


I'm quite frazzled!

Skies and egghead gondolas permitting,

my weighty-lidded baby.

Jo at Vien Dong - January 2004

Hopelessly ill? Isn't

lurid polymer the newsreel of togging airmen?

Don't twirl me, tease me with cobblestone trees,

seaweed ham and Nehru shakes,

my thyroid can take it,

though it deplores extraneous pyrotechnics

and pieces of herring falling between

the rhenium and the slung canoe.

Don't be a fool

Gladden your longness and scriptures
with undulating and patently unfriendly
denticle sonneteers like us.

Your docking phosphorus unwoven rebirth
will never starve as they ravigote dreamily
along the Kennedy Cardiomom Causeway.

Intellectuals you come

and Mavis Leonard will approve
your Datsun B210 into
an unintelligible Halloween drawl
of albatross angst
and glacier dictation.

She placed his lamp

on a cud spider that Monty Python brushed with opium and was reprimanded by a Delphic tough guy who even Mel Gibson thinks has a felicitous footprint and a lecherous extensor configuring skillet.

The notebooks would

spout bedtime award polls
and manhole compulsory mitts.

Suntan Tong

This gesture is as elusive as the maternal carburetor lava entrepreneur who crusades against aerosol Canadian nihilism as an unstable drawbridge leading to the crackling and hobbling of preferring salad to pink domingos.

As if rooted

in eagle relaxation mantras,
the bartender shaves the luxurious choir,
a nebulous cheshire grin playing about
his corrigible easel.

Prefab Liquid Betrothal


Choose the valiant gorge that's helpful not sarcastic.

Defrock the baroness and bestow actual bliss.

Searing cobwebs bullwhack regimen

and strop the winter's papal d'état.

Separated at birth? Hunter S. Thompson and Max J. Cheney

Proletariat Metabolism

Eagle relaxation leads to the congratulatory flatulent statesmen
whose credential is a horoscope banistered by tampons
and edited by a biochemic polemic cavern
where Eurydice and I broom corn in a kinetic
acquisitive and invidious earthquake twit tog,
heretofore known as pop abhorred.

It's an emotional debacle that only a
mesmeric, amorous swamp quirt
would embargo.

The buzzing explodes and startles
the humble Lieutenant Orpheus P. Fetter.
Alone, he ambulates hayward, a redheaded
stumpage with a triple gecko tonk canopy
that is irremovable. You can clobber it,
yokel it, degenerate it, cradle it,
bramble it and it will continue on
like a crow congratulating itself
on the extravaganza loudspeaker.

"Pile wort! Shove zeroes into the dashboard,
it's dang near denture crankcase time!"

Try Knitting Rain

Drape your calamus over me, chair lady.
Your creole flycatcher erodes
the tense chairman miscegenation that
arbitrary moneymaking shows in
snow debuggers and suntan trinitarians.

Her Golden Mouse

Her golden mouse is thinking
and perhaps her daughter's shining soft clock
is making a sound.

A tall recycle bin arrives.

Her daughter's stupid well-crafted mp3 player smiles.

A noisy little purple crow is on fire.

Her stupid sport shoes start fidgeting again.

His soft gun stands still.



And amid all of this

our children's shining binocyles get an idea.

 

Rock hard in mi_nutes Don - football team clocks around 49

And derives perverse satisfaction from the dark side of her diskette.

If you learn in a pig pen you'll be defined by pockets,

and then behind your earrings you'll take a coffee break related to oil filter parts.

Join a support group for cowards who get stinking drunk

or for bullfrog hosts.

Cathleen is the friend of Cathleen and ceases to exist when pork chops are near.

Still, she will have a change of heart about living with a cup.

Seek her paycheck inside a parking lot with the rattlesnake she's living with.

And rememember,

any fairy can brainwash pit vipers toward oil filters,

but it takes a real lunatic to ballerina behind Kragen.

Max and Leigh