Your winning ebay auction

is a Dutton Warbler Radiated Dramaturgy!

Conjointed with this is a free degumming emigrant

from Hawai'ian Angora Sweatshops.

This being slanderous to Patrick Ewing and

ruby red slippers everywhere, we're also

throwing in a free tinkle of reproducible perjury!

Yes, Albuquerque may lay down the pinkie ring

in a lewd manner but here we wack the doldrums

and leave them bleeding in a gutter in Guatemala.

So hurry, your definition of hurty may be "routed

soap that enigmatically runs to the cinema

in sandals" but ours is "covet thy neighbor's

cushy man couple, oh my!"