Hell Garden

Hell Garden
says the pen in my hand.

How do you say
        Don't look
without looking?

How do you crave
        The nasty side
when you're sober & caring?

How do you devise
        A plan
and then get a tatoo?

I don't semi-hate
        Cats
or equestrians.

I don't suck suspense
        From its firm,
glistening teeth.

I don't come into your
secrets
and condescend
them like Advil into cement.

I'm a sober & pale
oasis
or pale, old house.

& none of my sentences
brandish
rain like windows.

I come out of a gust
of detox & nachos
not out of intestines
& tentacles.

I will hold you for hours
& you
will not get in.

& I will think
of performing surgery
& going mad trying to bowl.

I'm sentimental or your corpse.
I'm sober of mu

&/or battering the world
without a pulse.