The Z's or O's and the Wolf

by Don Cheney



One day, the Z's or O's and the Wolf took a trip to Juneau, Alaska. They weren't on the road for long when they suddenly realized that it was melting.

-¡Fucking shit, brother Wolf! -The Z's or O's said-. ¡The road is fucking melting! ¡Extraterrestrials are orbiting above! ¡I don't speak Martian and I don't know how to repair a road!

-¿You don't deal very well do you, brother Z's or O's?

The Z's or O's and the Wolf drove on, until, the orbiting Martians and the freely-segmenting road conspired to stop them. They were but fifteen minutes into their journey and the Z's or O's's panties were definitely bunching.

-¡Jesus freaking Christ! ¡¿What kind of nightmarish mammalia is this shit?! I had my accordion ready and I was going to play a jaunty jig. ¡¿And now I'm to be anally-probed?! Look, brother Wolf, I'm seeing flying saucers. Flying saucers and roasting roadway.

Wolf ignored Z's or O's and kept driving down the highway. The Z's or O's started praying to San Gervasio - the largest Mayan ruins site on Cozumel. Five minutes of that and the Z's or O's had calmed down enough to want only to slit Wolf's throat.

-¡Hey, brother Z's or O's, I'm driving as fast as I can!

-That is true, brother Wolf.

-And dig, friend Z's or O's, ¿what was the name of that Mayan ruins we just passed?

-¡¿What!? ¡You fucking blaspheming piece of dog crap!



ANOTHER fifteen minutes passed, but it felt like it was pushing sixteen to the Z's or O's.

-¡Jesus freaking Christ! ¡¿What kind of nightmarish mammalia are you handing me?! I had my accordion ready and I was going to play another jaunty jig. ¡¿And now I'm to be anally-probed?! Look, brother Wolf, I'm seeing flying saucers. Flying saucers and roasting roadway.

Wolf ignored Z's or O's and kept driving down the highway. The Z's or O's started downing Vicodin and continued praying to San Gervasio - the largest Mayan ruins site on Cozumel. Five minutes of that and the Z's or O's had calmed down enough to want only to slice Wolf in two.

-¡Hey, brother Z's or O's, I'm driving faster than I can!

-That is true, brother Wolf.

-And dig, friend Z's or O's, ¿what was the name of that Mayan ruins we just passed?

-¡¿What!? ¡You fucking blaspheming piece of ass metal!



ANOTHER fifteen minutes passed, but it felt more like sixteen to the Z's or O's.

-¡Jesus freaking Christ! ¡¿What kind of nightmarish mammalia is this shit?! I had my accordion ready and I was going to play a third jaunty jig. ¡¿And now I'm to be anally-probed?! Look, brother Wolf, I'm seeing flying saucers. Flying saucers and roasting roadway.

Wolf ignored Z's or O's and kept driving down the highway. The Z's or O's stopped popping pills and started popping Wolf in the back of the head. Five minutes of that and the Z's or O's had calmed down enough to want only to eat Wolf's children.

-¡Hey, brother Z's or O's, any faster and I'm fucking flying!

-That is true, brother Wolf.

-And dig, friend Z's or O's, ¿what was the name of that Mayan ruins we just passed?

-¡¿What!? ¡You fucking blaspheming piece of taxi crap! Look, brother Wolf, goodbye, I've had more than I can assimilate... And when I do assimilate all of this it's going to make an "ass" out of “my” and “late”.