Gorgeous Women Want You!

Rather than vying for your kale,
your cole slaw and your Jay-Z records,
our Zeitgeisted-out gals want
to do you like an umpire at
a xenophobic wiffle ball game.

If you can't hear the phone ring,
if you can't nunciate,
if you can't come in from the Mediterranean,
then just tie a gourd around your way too awful
nocturnal night trip hips and bleat like a
hyena dying in the demilitarized zone.