Two Goofballs Grapple

I'm not alone in the war on drugs, I'm adhering to a small snail.

Always free cheese in a mousetrap.

They're eating sandwiches through our grandparents’ noses.

There is no actual place called hell. Worship THAT! (paper in hand)

My bedpost thinks I'm a dog.

You're the dog!

Drag them down to your level like a chess player, a frivolous and unseemly chess player.

An app can't truly be labeled killer until I'm face down on the keyboard.

Nobody can ever call me a son-of-a-bitch again.

A course in speed-waiting.

Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.

There once was a young man from Lyme/Who couldn't get his limericks to sound the same.

Pickle a squirrel today.

Scrub a surreal landscape.

Wisdom whispers, "Where are you?"

Order off the kids menu.

I yell at people in a thick Southern drawl.

Disneyland is all theory.

My girlfriend asks me if I woke up this morning.

Bill Gates's name adding up to 666 in ASCII.

A submarine can swim.

Don't yell at me!