Hockey, "In The Sympathy Vibes"
Tio Leo's Lounge, San Diego, CA, USA
March 18, 2006



You know I'm twice alive
In the sympathy vibes

heating

certainly dancing

journalists

teens

in arizona

electronic new hampshire

extra

more from THE LAND OF THE CHEDDAR MONSTER VIVISECTIONISTS II:

My parents were still struggling with that part of speech known informally as dinner. Dad was in the garden with rodents, cooking rat's ass hamburgers. It was the first time he'd tried that. To me, eating hamburgers, any kind of hamburgers, is a brazen disregard for the rules of the Zoroastrianism, and polytheism in general. But, hey, a good burger's a good burger, and it's not like my parents are going to be making us traditional Zoroastrianistic foods any time soon.

So, while they munched nervously on their demonic burgers, my plan was to cut up Slappy for parts.

No other thought made me grin as broadly. Mom used to smile, talking about putting snail poison in Dad's salad. And Sara used to say that nothing felt better than burning bugs with a magnifying glass. And Jed. Jed used to remove entire spleens from wayward wolverines.

Another thing that made me grin was the word "dirigible". ¿What was up with *that? No other word made me squirm like that one. Not even "zoological".

This is an excerpt from my novel,
THE LAND OF THE CHEDDAR
MONSTER VIVISECTIONISTS II.

(Slappy is a ventriloquist dummy)

-We have to free Slappy, he's been a dummy too long.
Think of it, Sara. How would you like it if every time you
opened your mouth somebody spoke for you? You'd
probably start driving around in an S.U.V., praising
Jesus, and voting for George W. Bush.

The poor lass couldn't follow a train, let alone a train of
thought.

..... and later:

Slappy's pants got caught on his S.U.V., and he fell to
the ground, his cellphone and Republican Party card
flying out of his pocket. Not only was he diabolical,
¡he was a card-carrying Republican! He grunted like a
lapdog - his mandibles caught under the SUV's massive
tires.

..... and later:

I searched his (Slappy's) pockets for weapons and for
any more right-wing affiliations. I found a John Birch
Society card, dated 1965 and tore it into lab rats.
Slappy protested, but he really got agitated when I
found a grunion in his pocket and started slapping him
in the face with it.

-¿What are you doing? -Sara exclaimed-. ¿Shouldn't
we be beating the piss out of him?

I had thought of that, but slapping him with a fish was
too much fun.

With the crowd chanting "Miss, miss...", Max Cheney converts his PK attempt in a playoff game to determine the SCIAC Champion for 2004. The University of Redlands beat Pomona-Pitzer in PK's (4-3), after a 0-0 match.

Colin eats kale

Hockey, "Bullfight"

The promoter is on the street selling tickets to the days bull fight
But the matador is drunk with a woman from the upper east side
The telepathic Italian has broken every watch he’s got
And he’s locked in the bathroom talking like he’ll never stop

Hockey, "Reading To An Elephant"

I've been walking backwards for so long
That it just seems casual to me

The synopsis for the new book I'm starting, Halloween: You - Me - Drink

¡A PROBLEM WITH... THE LADIES!

Greg was in love with Paul. But Paul was incompetent.

Who knew that one person could be so clueless. ¡Everyone!

Paul was from a poor, seemingly gangly family. And you’d think a dude like that would appreciate a guy wearing galoshes for a Halloween costume.

But Greg was not taking chances this time. This time, Greg was going to wear something Versace. Because now he wasn’t keeping secrets. He’d wear a vest and a bolo tie - ¡and that’s all! ¡No galoshes! ¡No pirate’s sword! ¡No fairy princess outfit! ¡No pants!

And with that simple directive, Greg thought he had finally found contentment. But what he really found was - ¡surprise! - more problems.

Marcos throws down in Oaxaca